Before I had kids I told myself that I would be THE coolest mom. I wouldn't make things up or bribe my kids to get them to do what I want, I wouldn't be the mom who yells and jumps around at my kids sporting events, I would never say "because I said so", and I WOULD NEVER emberrass them! Well I am here to tell you that not only have I done all of those things, I have done them well! Here are a few examples:
1. I couldn't get the girls to come inside one day after coming home and on the other side of the creek in the tree line some kids were yelling. Liv asked me what that noise was so I told her it was the monkeys that live in the trees and if she didn't come inside right now they would come out and start jumping around! She quickly came inside. Now mind you I had been holding my bladder for quite some time when I said this but still.....just wrong!
2. Sidney was wheeling around a plastic shopping cart at Target and I told her to park it because we were leaving. She immediatley began the stand off with a hand on her hip, the other on the cart, and a firm foot stomp while yelling "NO!" To which I said, "if you leave it there we'll get gum!" Problem solved!
3. Liv was misbehaving the other day and I told her that she wasn't going to have a birthday party if she kept acting like that! We all know that she is going to have a party! No matter what I say!
4. I told the girls that if they didn't pick up their toys that I was going to put them in the trash! Liv says "okay, you can throw them away!" AHHHHH!!! Did I......No! But they did go in a trash bag to the Childrens Foundation! HAHA!
5. I told Chase that if he did his chores the other day without complaining that I would buy him his ipod touch! He did his chores and said "Done mom!" When do I get it!" I said " You misunderstood....I told you I would think about buying you the ipod touch." He didn't appreciate that!
6. Mom, this isn't making any noise! Its not working! Fix it!!! "Oh I'm sorry honey, the batteries must be bad and we don't have any more. We'll have to get some at the store next time we go." But what really happened is that I have taken the batteries out and I did just buy a new pack! TERRIBLE!
And the worst for the month.......................................................
Chase had his first football game the other day and during the game he snapped the ball and took off running! 2 guys were on him, I thought they had him, they didn't and he kept going with 2 more on his heels. I couldn't see because people were all along the sidelines so I started to shuffle my way down the sideline to get a better look but he was running and running fast and I got so excited that I just started running along the side with him right to the end zone!! Then I proceeded to jump up and down!!!! ALOT!!!! How embarrassing for my poor kid!!!! And me!!!!! But then again, Oh well! My kid made a touchdown! A 70 yard touchdown! And it was his first one! So, I will still get excited but I did promise to not do that again! Afterall he wants it to be his touchdown not his and his moms!!!!
So, this is just a few of the things that I have done this month! This doesn't account at all for the rest of my motherly career. And I have to say that if you are reading this and laughing then you have at least done one of these! I still have a lifetime to go! My kids are screwed!!!
Mom, Momma, Mommy
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