A Few Things I Never Thought I Would Do When I Became A Mom

Before I had kids I told myself that I would be THE coolest mom.  I wouldn't make things up or bribe my kids to get them to do what I want, I wouldn't be the mom who yells and jumps around at my kids sporting events, I would never say "because I said so", and I WOULD NEVER emberrass them!  Well I am here to tell you that not only have I done all of those things, I have done them well!  Here are a few examples:

1.  I couldn't get the girls to come inside one day after coming home and on the other side of the creek in the tree line some kids were yelling.  Liv asked me what that noise was so I told her it was the monkeys that live in the trees and if she didn't come inside right now they would come out and start jumping around!  She quickly came inside.  Now mind you I had been holding my bladder for quite some time when I said this but still.....just wrong!

2.  Sidney was wheeling around a plastic shopping cart at Target and I told her to park it because we were leaving.  She immediatley began the stand off with a hand on her hip, the other on the cart, and a firm foot stomp while yelling "NO!"  To which I said, "if you leave it there we'll get gum!"  Problem solved!

3.  Liv was misbehaving the other day and I told her that she wasn't going to have a birthday party if she kept acting like that!  We all know that she is going to have a party!  No matter what I say!

4.  I told the girls that if they didn't pick up their toys that I was going to put them in the trash!  Liv says "okay, you can throw them away!"  AHHHHH!!!  Did I......No!  But they did go in a trash bag to the Childrens Foundation!  HAHA!

5.  I told Chase that if he did his chores the other day without complaining that I would buy him his ipod touch!  He did his chores and said "Done mom!"  When do I get it!"  I said " You misunderstood....I told you I would think about buying you the ipod touch."  He didn't appreciate that!

6.  Mom, this isn't making any noise!  Its not working!  Fix it!!!  "Oh I'm sorry honey, the batteries must be bad and we don't have any more.  We'll have to get some at the store next time we go."  But what really happened is that I have taken the batteries out and I did just buy a new pack!  TERRIBLE! 

And the worst for the month.......................................................
Chase had his first football game the other day and during the game he snapped the ball and took off running!  2 guys were on him, I thought they had him, they didn't and he kept going with 2 more on his heels.  I couldn't see because people were all along the sidelines so I started to shuffle my way down the sideline to get a better look but he was running and running fast and I got so excited that I just started running along the side with him right to the end zone!!  Then I proceeded to jump up and down!!!!  ALOT!!!!  How embarrassing for my poor kid!!!!  And me!!!!!  But then again, Oh well!  My kid made a touchdown!  A 70 yard touchdown!  And it was his first one!  So, I will still get excited but I did promise to not do that again!  Afterall he wants it to be his touchdown not his and his moms!!!! 

So, this is just a few of the things that I have done this month!  This doesn't account at all for the rest of my motherly career.  And I have to say that if you are reading this and laughing then you have at least done one of these!  I still have a lifetime to go!  My kids are screwed!!!

Mom, Momma, Mommy

Cannot Believe These Words Come Out of My Mouth!!!

In the course of one morning I have said the following to the girls.........

~Don't eat the cat food!!!!
~We DO NOT put poopy diapers there!!!
~PLEASE stop playing in the toilet water!!!
~Your sister can wipe her own butt!
~Don't fling your oatmeal!
~Don't smear the oatmeal on the dog!
~Don't eat stamps!!!!!

We have only been up 3 hours!!

Mom, Momma, Mommy

So kids really do think that appliances are magical.........

Last night Chase went wading in the pond with some friends and when he came home he asked if he could put his shoes in the dryer so that they would be dry for school in the morning.  Of course I said yes, but told him that he needed to get a laundry basket to put the load I recently put in into.  He did all of this.....did it well.  Or so I thought until this morning when he went to pull them out and he said, "their still wet!"  To which I said..."did you turn the dryer on after you put them in there?"  The response............................................................................."I didn't know I had to turn it on!  I thought it automatically dried the clothes!!!!"   HMmmmmmmmm???  Really????  Some lessons are tuff......he went to school with wet shoes~ bet he doesn't forget to turn it on next time!

Summer 2011 Recap

Well summer is quickly coming to a close with school starting back up in less than 2 weeks so I thought that I would take some time to recall some of the wild and crazy moments that each child had over the last few months~

We will begin with Chase:  Chase was on the move all summer long which means that I was also on the move all summer long!  He had an excellent baseball season and now we are moving into football and looking foward to that!  He has really grown it seems in the past few months and I don't just mean in size just in personality.  He is really growing up to be an excellent little man even though he decided that he was a bit big for his britches a few times!  A good ol' fashioned attitude from a 9 yr old is just a sign of change and growth I suppose not only for him but for the parents as well!  He is getting ready for another big change and that is his best friend moving away.  This is a boy that I have pretty much seen every day for the past 5 years!  So I'm sure he'll adjust fine but he's going to miss his buddy!  Now he is off to the 4th grade! 

Liv~  Well lets just say that she has also really begun to come into her own little self over the summer!  I'm talking COLLASAL ATTITUDE!!!!!  She has been in trouble more this summer than ever before!  In fact one afternoon we were driving down the road and I had been listening to her whine and scream all day long!  So without even thinking I took the bottle of water that I had and splashed her with it!  She stopped!  Just needed a little cool down!  On the other side, she is just turning into a little girl and coming out of the toddler stage.  She is full of stories, sings all the time and tries like hell to mother her baby sister who won't have any part of it!  She also doesn't hesitate to tell anyone that they don't match or that they look FABULOUS!!  DIVAS........What are you gonna do???  She is looking forward to going back to school in a month and I think she's ready! 

Sidney~  Sidney is in a league of her own!!!  She's sweet, loving, dances and sings all the time just like her sister, but you can NEVER NEVER EVER  leave her alone!  Not for long!!!  She will get her hands on everything and anything that does not belong to her and it will be DESTROYED!!!!!  This is not an exaggeration by any stretch either!  DESTROYED!!!!  But she is also losing her baby girlness too , she moved into a big girl bed in her new big girl room and now I don't have any more kids in cribs and this makes me very sad but also glad and excited to be moving on to new things with them!  And no matter what they will always be my babies and I will tell them that everyday  even though they will hate it!  HAHA!!

We also ventured out into camping this summer~ I eased my way into it but its not horrible, but it is alot of work!  But the deal is that if I camp we have to go somewhere of my choice at least once a year so in September Scott and I are headed for the beach!!!!  WOOHOO!!!  And next years plan is NYC for the Macys Day Parade!!!! 

The kids swam a ton this summer too and the girls loved it!  They started jumping off the sides of the pool and floating around in their little rings!  It has been so much fun!  I'm excited for school to start and for fall to begin so that we can do all those fun activities!  So only a few weeks left of "mom can I go here?  Can you take us here?  I'm bored..., she/he hit me, looked at me, breathed on me!"  ;-)  I'll also be missing my children running around out in the yard laughing and playing and looking out to find them running around buck naked because they decided that swim suits weren't necessary!  The neighbors probably look forward to the cooler weather as well so that they don't have to be exposed to the hijinks that come with any Ditchen you encounter!

I love them all and I'm looking forward to all the new things that they are going to do to make me crazy and happy all at the same time!!

Lovin' Every Minute~
Mom, Momma, Mommy